1/9

I’ve been posting a lot of personal posts lately, I know. Nothing too hard hitting, nothing too jarring, but I guess that’s the nature of the phase of life I’m in. I’m restless, I can see the end just around the corner, and I want time to pass even faster than it is already. Of course, this is juxtaposed with a lot of sadness and melancholy. Again, nature of my life at the moment.

Yesterday, however, I received my first offer, from the University of Massachusetts (at Amherst!)…with a neat little merit scholarship to go with it. It was 3am, I was spouting philosophical, existential bullshit on twitter, and then I got the email. Emotions were felt, some of that restlessness was alleviated, then I fell asleep.

I woke up and the physical offer package was already there!

That’s when I realized how desperately I needed this reassurance. I was panicking. I know decisions aren’t due to start coming in until March or April, but the panic was definitely settling in. Last year was still heavy on my mind: rejections aren’t the best first decisions to come back to you, so even though UMass isn’t, in all honestly, my top choice, it is still a great school that thought I was good enough to be awarded a merit scholarship along with my offer…and I can’t tell you what a wonderful feeling it is.

My darling friend, Jem, verbalized the elation I was feeling: this is, at the very least, a confirmation that I will be going to America for college. Four years of hard work will be coming into fruition very soon in the form of offers – and maybe even more scholarships! Well. Let’s hope, anyway.

DISCLAIMER: I know university isn’t the most important thing in the world, and I most certainly agree that universities do not determine a person’s worth. It’s just that for me, personally, university is important because I have made it up to be so given my life goals and ambitions.

Also, this doesn’t count as a short note because this is another series of sorts – I’ve applied to nine universities, and with every offer or rejection, I’ll put up  a new post. I’ll be tagging them “?/9” just so you know! 🙂 

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